If anyone wants to make Zach happy, gift him a bottle from Blair’s. Blair’s makes snacks as well as hot sauces, but the sauces make the brand famous all over the globe. The 3 A.M. is the second in a series of the “A.M.” Reserves extracts, which are named for when Blair worked in the bar business. Any patron who wanted to stay past closing at 2 am had to eat four hot wings with Blair’s dastardly sauce, but none ever succeeded. The 3 A.M. Reserve has a range of 900,000-1,200,000 scoville units, comparable to ghost peppers. Blair’s mix of red savina habanero chili, cayenne chili, and special extract is recommended to use extremely sparingly – a teaspoon is more than enough to enhance a gallon of your own sauce, as per Blair. He signs and numbers each bottle and can even personalize if you like, so hardcore chiliheads would go gaga over a gift like this. As a collector’s item, some editions have been known to resell for BIG money, so it’s a hard choice: crack the seal and enjoy the extract, or save it and bank it? What would you do, reader?
(The label is in Spanish, so we thought we’d follow suit today! See below for translation)
Blair’s es una compañía que produce una variedad de salsas, todas picantes pero a niveles diferentes. Hemos escrito de cuatro, pero ésta de que escribimos hoy se llama “Salsa de la muerte” y ella misma tiene dos caras. Ambas tienen puestas etiquietas en español, y afortunadamente August conoce la lengua. Pero aparentemente, las botellas que se exportan a países de América Latina llevan más chile habanero que la versión que se vende en los Estados Unidos, para los gustos del mundo hispano. Ambas “salsas de la muerte” contienen chipotle como ingrediente prinicpal por su sabor, mas zumo de lima y cilantro, pero las dos se contrastan por el sudor que causan por comérselas. Los usos sugeridos incluyen mariscos hasta huevos rancheros (y podemos pensar en más), entonces es bastante versátil para servir con cualquier plato.
Blair’s is a company that produces a great variety of salsas, all spicy but at different levels. We have written about four, but this one of which we write today is called “Salsa of death” and it itself has two faces. Both have affixed labels in Spanish, and fortunately August knows the language. But apparently, the bottles that are exported to Latin American countries have more habanero than the version that is sold in the United States, for the Hispanic peoples’ tastes. Both “salsas of death” contain chipotle as a main ingredient for its flavor, plus lime juice and cilantro, but the two of them contrast by the sweat they cause when eaten. Suggested uses include shellfish and huevos rancheros (and we can think of more), so it’s fairly versatile to serve with any dish.
Emblazoned with fortune cookie-like advice, if Lucifer were to write it, the Burning Trinity of Bastard Hot Sauces dares you to buy it. Literally. “It’s Not Too Expensive, You’re Too Cheap” and “You’re Not Worthy” are two of the beckoning phrases inspired by Arrogant Bastard Ale from Stone Brewing Co. In the late 1990s Arrogant Bastard Ale found its place in the hearts of “aggressive” beer drinkers, not “the timid or weak”, and not long after, Carlsbad Gourmet approached the brewery to see if a collaboration could develop between the condiment makers and the brewers. Now available on both company’s websites is this infamous, infernal, incomparable selection of three hot sauces. Granted, most ingredients are identical among the three, but it’s the subtle differences that matter. Arrogant Bastard Ale Jalapeño Heat uses the (arguably) most recognized of Stone’s brews, plus a pepper that provides the common heat that most are accustomed to from jalapeños. Oaked Arrogant Bastard Ale Chipotle has the faintest hair of molasses and vanilla, since the beer is brewed with American oak chips. Chipotle is a smoked jalapeño, making this sauce richer in flavor and right about the same heat level as the Jalapeño Heat. Double Bastard Ale is one of August’s favorite Stone brews, but as Double Bastard Ale Double Burn Habanero, it’s all for Zach. This is surely the spiciest of the three sauces, but if you’re not distracted by the heat, you’ll enjoy the flavor. It’s only appropriate that the sauces designed to complement beer that holds no punches, would themselves be bold and baneful.