Psycho Donuts, San Jose CA
When hit with a sugar craving, there aren’t many places that can satisfy like Psycho Donuts. We drove to San Jose to see for ourselves why this place has gotten so much hype from various media outlets, and as an “asylum for wayward donuts,” the sights were lavishly psychotic. Over thirty types of topping combinations on different styles of donuts are enough to stupefy even a donut fanatic into analysis paralysis, so we picked the sixteen most extravagant to photograph and share.
An homage to America’s favorite yellow father figure, this D’oh-Nut had an ample smear of strawberry icing topped with giant confetti sprinkles. It looks very similar to the spinning donut on EA’s Tapped Out.
Doh-Nilla is vanilla on vanilla – vanilla icing with Nilla wafers. The chocolate zebra stripe offset the near vanilla overload, but if you love vanilla more than anything, then have at it.
Is it a meadow muffin? Is it a zombie brain? No, it’s Sticky Monkey, a gigantic mass inspired by Bananas Fosters with salted caramel. There was a plate under there, really, but it was just that big.
The flavor combination in Fung Shui put it at the top of August’s list. Green tea icing with dark chocolate chips and vanilla drizzle were nicely balanced on this bar.
For Nutella the Hun, a chocolate donut was dressed with Nutella and sprinkles. The chocolate flavor is stronger than the hazelnut, but hazelnut lovers will taste it and enjoy it.
Instead of frosting, ‘Mellow Submarine was an old-fashioned donut coated in marshmallow fluff. Adding rice cereal and chocolate stripes got us feeling nostalgic for rice crispy treats.
Also with marshmallow fluff, the S’mores donut was loaded with a layer of chocolate under the fluff, chunks and crumbles of graham crackers, and chocolate dribbles. Powdered sugar made this just a little messy in a funny way, kind of like how real s’mores are messy in their own right.
We didn’t know that San Jose has its own Pride celebrations until learning about them here, via the Gay Bar. With Froot Loops, no less, the textures and flavors can turn anyone
Like the ‘Mellow Submarine and the Gay Bar, the Cereal Killer was murderously smothered in cereal. Cap’n Crunchberries, vanilla icing, and piped red frosting are the toppings for what’s billed as a “Psycho favorite.”
The Strawberry Margarita had the same frosting as Homer’s D’oh-Nut, but far from holey, this was filled with custard. We debated if real strawberries were used in the frosting, for it was that intensely fruity.
If peanut butter is your thing, look up Marla and she’ll help you. A maple bar with Butterfinger crumbles and a creamy peanut butter squiggle, this was unconventionally rich.
Even richer was the Canadian Morning Squeal Meal, a tangy buttermilk tribute bar to our neighbors in the North. Maple icing, bacon bits, and squirts of chocolate looked similar to twice-baked potato toppings, and on this peculiarly-shaped bar, they could make some do a double-take to wonder if this is a sweet or savory item.
Peanut butter, like cereal, is a prolific ingredient at Psycho Donuts, as seen on this donut made in honor of the great King. The Dead Elvis was filled with custard then garnished with freeze-dried bananas, bacon, creamy peanut butter, and very gel-like jelly.
Another custard-filled creation was Bananarama, covered in chocolate and freeze-dried bananas. This was a clever take on the classic Boston Cream Pie.
Sure to please the kid in everyone, Kooky Monster combined one of our favorite cookies with piles of vanilla icing. There’s a smaller version called the Lil Kooky, but we met some people with whom to share our spoils so we needed the big one for everyone to get a bite.
The most whimsical was Crazy Face, a donut sculpture with maple glaze, a bit of custard, and a chocolate smile. He might look a little manic, but that’s because he knows he’s about to get devoured by members of the San Jose Parkour Team.
Psycho Donuts is a hub of creativity. Eclectic decorations, an intriguing beverage selection, and a prime location next to a movie theater are enough to get anyone’s imagination going. It’s no wonder the place is called Psycho Donuts, because the fanciful donuts are just plain crazy.